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This $55 Amazon Smart Soap Dispenser is dumber than a box of rocks

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Not everything needs Bluetooth or Wi-Fi. Case in point is Amazon’s new Smart Soap Dispenser, the latest let’s-stick-a-chip-in-it replacement for ordinary objects. And because it’s made by Amazon, it’s design to be paired with an Echo speaker to run Alexa routines.

Why? Well, according to Amazon, it’s to “automatically play songs, jokes, and more when you wash.”

The 12oz liquid soap dispenser is fitted with 2.4GHz (only) 802.11 b/g/n Wi-Fi and features an LED timer around the top that reminds you to keep scrubbing until the CDC-recommended minimum wash time of 20 seconds has elapsed. The rechargeable battery is said to last three months on a single charge.

One useful feature is the variable rate dispenser that pumps out more soap the farther away from the nozzle you hold you hand. But that feature’s available on a variety of touchless soap dispensers that cost a lot less.

If you do end up buying this device then please, by all means, install it in a bathroom alongside some type of occupancy sensor. Then alert the household whenever someone uses the toilet and fails to wash. Public shaming can be highly motivational to a fragile human psyche incapable of being alone for even 20 seconds at a time.

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