I don’t want to start this post by personally attacking Mark Zuckerberg’s eyes, which have in years past been described as “two weird lil black marbles” and “vacant, black shark eyes.” Who wouldn’t look utterly bereft of a soul after trying to explain the internet to the United States Senate? I also don’t need to suggest Mark Zuckerberg may in fact be a robot, since there’s an entire meme community devoted to that joke. I am avoiding these easy, obvious dunks on ol’ Zuck because his latest “metaverse” selfie looks so bad, he’s already owned himself harder than I possibly could.

Zuckerberg posted a screenshot from Meta’s Horizon Worlds (opens in new tab) on Facebook earlier this week, saying that he’s “looking forward to seeing people explore and build immersive worlds” in the VR “metaverse.” The screenshot is not just bad: it is exquisitely bad. It is ironic clipart bad. It is stock-cratering, anyone-other-than-a-billionaire-CEO-would-immediately-be-fired-for-this bad. Meta spent $10 billion on developing whatever the hell it’s doing with the metaverse last year, and all it’s got to show for it is a baby doll-faced Zuckerberg hovering in front of a miniature Eiffel Tower.