You tricked me for a minute, Capcom. You joined this week’s Nintendo Direct with a final trailer for Monster Hunter Rise’s Sunbreak expansion, which hit both the Switch and PC this week, and got me all excited about taking down new monsters alongside human NPCs for the first time. You reminded me of how wildly acrobatic Rise’s movement system is, and how sickeningly satisfying it is to vault over the handle of a greatsword and smash it into a dragon’s face. You got me psyched.

And then you ruined it. You just had to end your trailer with one more thing, didn’t you? One last bit of news: an update coming to Sunbreak in August. That should be good news, but instead it’s guaranteed to make my life hell. The second I saw that scaly bomb fall from the sky I knew you’d done something unforgiveable. You added an even more miserable version of Bazelgeuse to fight, just to torment me.

Really? This scumbag? This conceited prick who loves to horn in on fights he wasn’t invited to and crap bombs all over everyone’s heads? Did you cackle when you decided to arm this explosive asshole with even greater power? Despicable! 

(Image credit: Meryl Streep)

There are no doubt legions of Monster Hunter players who saw Seething Bazelgeuse appear at the end of the Sunbreak trailer and thought, yesss, another savage beast for me to kill. Meanwhile, here’s me yelling GTFO at my screen:

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